and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
