he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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