No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I wish there were birth control emojis
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's shark week go big or go home
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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