It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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