the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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