like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
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I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
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School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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