Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
you had me at cake vodka
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
