remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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