Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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