We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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