Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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