He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
