hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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