I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize