So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
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Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
All I want is dick and wine.
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