It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
