If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I would fuck him just for his dog
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
