maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
