Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize