it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Text me some of your sweat
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
