meet me or not, i'm out of control
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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