Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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