She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
