Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
