dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
