That's intense
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
