I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
