she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
