If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
