She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize