i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
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