I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
