Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
