remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
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He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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