i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
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What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
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I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize