Capitaan dildo arrescate!
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
