forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
