does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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