Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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