I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
