yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
