The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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