Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
