HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Vodka?
Forever.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
We need to get me chipped asap
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
