Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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