Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
