RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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