i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just invented taco cereal.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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