i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think my moral compass just broke
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
