Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
