Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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