Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
