i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
