i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
