The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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